When you’re in a romantic relationship, you want to feel appreciated, and part of that comes from appreciating yourself. You can’t expect your partner to fill a void within you, but you can expect them to show gratitude when you love and care for them. When I say that you need to appreciate yourself, what I mean is that you need to acknowledge what you like about yourself, and value that. Learn to recognize good things about your inner self and how you bring joy to other people’s lives because that is what matters. Once you can see what you love about yourself and how you help others, you can bring more to a partnership.
Expecting appreciation is reasonable
When you’re in a romantic relationship, you want to make sure that your partner feels supported and loved. You want them to feel safe and secure in the relationship, and part of that is making sure that they know that you appreciate who they are and what they do. You’re not going to love everything about them; that is not a realistic expectation to have of your partner. However, you will certainly appreciate the good things about them. After all, that’s why you’re in a relationship with them! It’s reasonable to expect the same appreciation in return. You want the love that you give to be reciprocated.
The power of reciprocity
It is meaningful when you show appreciation for your partner. You are showing them that you appreciate them for the unique individual that they are, and you want to see that they acknowledge you for who you are as well. There’s a reason that you were drawn to each other; it’s because you see each other clearly, and you like what you see. Being in a relationship is about working together, valuing the person that you’re with, recognizing both their strengths and their flaws, and loving them wholly and completely. Part of that is reciprocity. If you’re acknowledging your love and appreciation for them but aren’t getting the same in return, you may be left feeling unappreciated.
How does feeling unappreciated feel?
Let’s say that you ask your partner how their day was, and listen when they tell you about how they had a hard time. Then, they don’t ask how your day was or listen when you talk about your feelings. It can make you feel unheard and unappreciated. What can you do about it? Feeling unappreciated doesn’t need to be a dead end in a relationship. You can talk about it with your partner and let them know that you don’t feel appreciated for who you are and what you do for them. Then, they can reply and let you know that you are appreciated. They can ask how to prevent you from feeling unappreciated in the future. It’s likely that they never meant to make you feel this way, so if you feel unappreciated, it’s important to talk about it. That way, you can work through these issues and strengthen your relationship. Sometimes, you might also find that seeing a counselor is helpful.
If you feel that you’re at a loss when it comes to showing appreciation or feeling appreciated in a relationship, couples counseling can help. Whether you’re working with a mental health professional or online, you can talk through these issues with your partner and get support in establishing ways to communicate your appreciation for each other. Online counseling is an excellent place to talk about what you’re feeling, tell your partner what you need from them, and learn about what they need from you. Gratitude is an integral part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise, and it is crucial that we learn to show appreciation for one another. With the help of an online counselor, you can learn how to show gratitude for one another, and feel that gratitude for yourself.
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